Sunday, 14 February 2016

Challenge accepted! Date 50 guys? Ok, no problem!

After being single for just over two years, I was finally ready to get back out there. With a little challenge from my life coach, who kindly pointed out that what I said I wanted (love and a happy relationship) did not line up with my actions (not meeting guys or dating at all), I decided to put myself out there! I recently took a job that allows me to travel across Canada, and while that's all well and fun, it has been getting pretty lonely. I really wanted to explore the places I visited and enjoy local treasures, but tripadvisor was only taking me so far. So I decided to combine my desire for exploring new places, with my new-found self awareness skills to see if I could just go out and be myself with strangers, and hopefully make some memories at the same time.  Let me tell you, I got way more than I bargained for! The simple version is this: I challenged myself to go on 50 dates, set up an online profile on Plenty of fish. I selected things like "not looking for anything serious", and casual dating/friendship, which I quickly learned was a good way to find all the creepy people and guys who just wanted to #¥!*. So I refined my match criteria a few times and wrote the following qualifiers in my profile: I travel for a living and am looking for a local guy who can show me around town. I move every 6 weeks, and would like to say that I've seen and done the must-haves in xxxxx (<-- insert whatever town I was in here).
Rules:
1) No phone numbers or emails will be exchanged
2) There will only be one date (so make it count!)
3) Message me with your suggested time, date, location and activity
Along with a quirky paragraph or two about myself and interests and hobbies, I attached simple head shots, some a tad flirty, some sporty and some basic.  I had to show my fun side! But soon realized  that any cleavage was a no-no. It attracts creepers. Lol.
I decided to document my dates as a means of self reflection and education. Plus I love journaling.
After sharing my stories with a few colleagues and friends, I decided to share it with the world! Hopefully some of you will get a good chuckle out of it, or maybe even be inspired to get out there yourself!
Here's how my first date went down:

Date #1
I went on a date! First one in over two years! We met online, he seemed nice, and he was. We went bowling, and I practiced my fake smile mixed in with some real ones. He talked about his friends and self a lot. And any time I tried to say something he interrupted me like he could just talk forever- almost like I was interrupting him! Haha
We bowled the first game normally, then I asked if he was up for some left handed bowling for a challenge - he was game, and turns out he's ambidextrous and writes with his left hand, but I digress... so for the last round I said it was his choice- and he picked alternating arms- which I laughed about and our elbows brushed as I leaned in to laugh at the serendipity of him choosing to do what I would have chosen to keep things even (from a physical training point of view). After bowling we drove to a nearby restaurant.  We had a beer, I listened to him talk about his house renovations and job in the military, and we both nibbled nervously on the popcorn on the table. Then it happened.  My verbal diarrhoea. The second there was a pause in his speech I said " I'm kinda bored".  To which he said with surprise  "you're bored?" I realized he may have been insulted so I tried to explain that sometimes when I sit too long I can't focus anymore and I get antsy so I need to move (Which is true!) My friends understand this to be a common thing with me, and they thankfully laugh it off, but sometimes I speak without thinking, or more accurately without considering how it will sound to someone else.  Some call it tone, my mother calls it a lack of tact, but I know differently. Often, all that is required is for me to slow down and think to manage this verbal diarrhoea. Unfortunately, this is almost impossible when I'm nervous! As much as I backtracked to try to say I was antsy- which was half true, cuz I was bored too- I realized this: either he wasn't paying attention to my body language or I was faking interest in him (to be polite?) too well! Must not fake interest anymore!
Lesson 1 learned! 

Stay tuned for my next entry:  Date #2: Valentine's Day with a stranger.....



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